Relay For Life: Hope, Faith, and Courage..

"Hope is not a dream, but a way of making dreams become reality."

Family Is What Matters MOST!!
My grandmother, aunt, and mom

This past friday, March 25, I attended Relay for Life at Ole Miss.  I was so graciously asked to tell my story of my mom fighting cancer along with Margaret Ann Morgan who also lost her mom just a few months earlier.  Saying yes was not an easy thing to do, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  Getting in front of people and telling them my personal life of my mom, how she passed, and how I am coping with her gone, was definitely not a walk in the park; I would say it had to be one of the toughest things I have ever done.  But with the support from my family, friends, and my Ole Miss family I did it.  I told the trials and tribulations that face me and my family during my mom's battle with cancer, and how it was the hardest thing to say goodbye to my mom, my best friend. At times I felt alone up on stage with everyone watching me, but I knew my mom was standing right next to me.
It was so awesome to see the support of everyone that night.  I truly could not have done it with out them.  Of course there were times where I was crying and just wanted to run off stage in tears, but I knew that my story had to be told in order to help others out there.
In the end, I know that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan out there for all of us.  That plan might not be to all of our expectations, but its something that we hall have to have hope and faith in.  God's works are amazing, and we should never take Him for granted!!

This song is one of my mom's favorite songs.. It's not who you knew, it's not what you did, it's how you lived!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7HFk6flUOQ

Why?

Have you ever asked yourself the question.. WHY? Lately I have been thinking about my place here on this earth, and why I am here. Since my mom passed, there has been so much thrown at me that I haven't been necessarily catching. On the outside, I try to be the best that I can be and try to make it look like I have my life in order, but I don't.. It seemed to work when my mom was alive, because whenever there was a problem, I would just call her and she had the answer; who do I call on now? Life has been tough, with my faith, friends, and family.
In my heart, I know that God is always there whenever I need him, in the good and the bad, but lately I feel alone. It gets harder each and every day to put on a smile and a montage that everything is okay. People say that you can't carry the weight all on your own, but it's hard these days to find those who can help. Especially with me, I am not one to ask for help or to accept it because I feel like a bother to others. No matter how many times people tell me I'm not, I will never be fully convinced.
Mom leaving this Earth has to be the biggest struggle of my life. They say it gets easier as time goes by, but I want to know who 'they' are, because for me, it gets harder as the days go by. Her not being here to reassure me that everything is going to be okay, has been the toughest thing for me. That has to be where the questioning of all the 'whys' in my life come from.
These are the reasons why I want to travel, get out, and make something of my life. I want to do something that will help others, and to reassure them that everything is going to be okay, even if it's not for me. I want to go teach in low poverty ares, third world countries, and travel the world in hopes to do something new and different with my life. I feel like staying here reminds me of the bad, what use to be and never will. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends here, but I feel like there is something more out there for me.
For now, I am here, in Oxford studying Elementary Education. I have God, the love of my friends and family, and the faith that I can get through anything. As long I keep reminding myself of these three things, I can get through anything.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4.13)

Erika Watson

my mom is my Guardian Angel..

"God saw you were getting tired and it was not meant to be, so He put his arms around you and whispered, 'come to me'. With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you pass away, although we loved you dearly we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating hard, working hands at rest, God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best."

I know I have not been on in awhile, but there has been a lot going on. Many of you know, but my mom passed away December 5, 2010, from cancer. She put up such a great battle, and she won in my eyes. No matter what anyone says, I know that my mom is with me at all times, looking down, and guiding me through this tough journey we call life. There is no doubt that I am going to miss her TONS, but i have to keep on going through life because i know that is how she would want it to be. She has always taught me to live life the fullest, and to not take things for granted. I believe that my mom came up with the saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" and it is totally true. We should all not worry about the little problems in life, because in the end its not about who you knew, and its not what you did, its how you lived!!
Through everything that was happening with my mom, I went to Europe to travel. At first I did not want to go because my mom was the one who paid for my flights and in a way, I felt selfish for going. But then i realized, she would want me to go and have an awesome time; she was with me the whole time from england, to scotland, and then to ireland.
On my journey I visited my camp friends that I met in WV at Camp Rim Rock, and I  also met a lot of new people. The Americans that flew over with me were Rust, Kitty, and Backof. We met up and stayed with out friends Jess, Lydz, and Paulla.  The whole adventure was so much fun and I am actually thinking about studying abroad in the fall.
While I was over seas, we went to London and visited all the landmarks there like Big Ben, London Eye, and Buckingham Palace. Then we went to Scotland and visited Edinburgh. And from there we went back to the Bristol area and flew over to Ireland where we stayed in Dublin. Everything was so so beautiful and i can not wait to go back!
Through the past couple of weeks i have learned to live my life out to the fullest and to be who i want to be. I always worried about what others thought of me, and that i should live my life based on other people, but thats not how God would want me to live and thats not how I wanted to live. I had to break out of my shell, do my own thing, and pray that I still had friends in the end.. haha!! but really, being me has just made me a better person all around.
I do hope that this blog has been helpful for those who worry about the little stuff instead of living for the big stuff (aka God). The life lived on this Earth, is what prepares us for the life in heaven.

REST IN PEACE mom!! Rennee Watson - December 5, 2010

Erika Watson

We must believe, even if no one else does..

"Now it was Mary Magdalane, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them who told this to the apostles. But these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them." (Luke 24.10 - 11)
It was women who first believed in Jesus, yet no one believed them. We are called to be like them and to share the gospel. Do you know someone who could benefit from you sharing hope, faith, and charity?
-This reminds me of the saying we were all told when we were little; "Don't judge a book by it's cover". Whether it's something you are being told, or you telling someone else, the word of God needs to be shared with everyone no matter who they are. Everyone could use encouragement and a little faith, so the next time you see someone who is struggling in need of God, give them a simple prayer and knowledge about our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Joanna, Brittany, and I

-So Friday was my birthday and it was lovely. I wanted to celebrate it on Thursday because everyone would be leaving to go home for Thanksgiving break Friday. I asked a couple of my friends to hang out, and some were busy and we just decided to do a small thing. To tell you the truth, I was upset that no one could really hang out because we were celebrating my birthday. So Brittany decided that me, her, and Joanna would go out to eat. I had to get ready and run to Wal*Mart with Brittany while Joanna got ready. I was really confused on why I had to get ready then instead of coming back, but I went along with it because Brittany insisted. After leaving Wal*Mart and we got back to the apartment, we had to bring the bags up. By now, I was really upset because I was hungry and just wanted to eat!! haha.. So we walked up, I walked into the apartment, and there was all my closest friends there to surprise me with a party!! I was so mixed with different feeling that I didn't know how to react. I have the best friends EVER and I am so glad for Brittany and Joanna for hosting and keeping this such a great surprise. I could not imagine having a better party with any other people. Thanks for everyone who came and made it AMAZING!!

-Today, I went to visit my mom in the hospital. Each day she looks better, is feeling better, and is aware of everything more and more! The doctor is very positive with everything, and he said that once the chemo treatments get going, then she should be doing much better. They took her off her breathing tube this morning and she lasted for an hour breathing on her own.. BIG STEP!! And he also said that she soon will be eating soft foods instead of being fed through a tube. I love just going up there and talking to her, because she has such a positive attitude with everything, and she makes me laugh so much; her sense of humor is still there!! I just encourage everyone to keep praying because we still have a long road until she is 100% percent again.. I love her so so much, and I know that she will pull through this!!

-Also I found this song I found shows me that there is always someone who is there and loves us.. its God!! Listen to it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgGUKWiw7Wk


-Erika Watson

stable, but not better.. who are we to choose our own fate?

"I will instruct you and show you the way you should walk; I will counsel you and watch over you." (Psalm 32.8)
Notice that God is that of a guide/teacher who show us the right path with counsel instead of force. Allow God to lead you, to know what to do with your life, how to make good decisions, and how to live life fully.
This just shows me that no matter how hard we try, we can not do things on our own; we need God's help in everything that we do. We can determine what we want out of life, but without God's help and guidance, we will never be able to accomplish our goals in life.

With everyone's prayers and thoughts, my mom has become stable within the ICU. Her breathing is getting a little better, but like the doctor explained it to me, one of the two flaps that helps you breathe and talk is not working so well so it makes it difficult for her to talk and breathe.  Other than that, the doctors are going to try to do intense chemo with her to reduce the size of the cancer that is within her.
Without yall's prayers, we could not get through this enduring journey. Hopefully it will all be over, and my mom will be better soon, but we just have to be strong and keep praying for my mom. She is a fighter and has been battling cancer for three years; she can get through this!!

Erika Watson

pray for my mom.. keep her in your thoughts!!

Just got a call from my sister about my mom. A tumor was found in her lungs which has hindered her vocal cords!! She has to go through more chemo, and I just hope that her body can handle it!! Please pray for my mom as much as possible!! Thanks..

Erika Watson

Wonderful Homecoming Weekend

"Praise God, sun and moon; praise God, all you shining stars." (Psalms 148.3)
Whenever we look at the sky, we see reminders of Gods glory and infinite majesty especially in the night sky; For the lights in the sky seem to point to His glory. Allow God to help you to never lose your sense of wonder or awe at His Great works.

-This weekend went very well. It all started off with my friend's, Jordan, birthday. It was his 21st birthday Thursday and we all went our for a good time. That was a lot of fun because it has been awhile since our group of friends really hung out together. Also, his camp friends also came into town to celebrate his birthday. I can not believe how close I became with some of his friends! 
Even though I was having a good time both Thursday and Friday night, my happiness did come to a hold Saturday morning. I found out that my mom had to be rushed into the hospital. The top part of her heart was beating faster than the bottom of her heart and it was hindering her breathing pattern. Even though this was rough to hear, there was a good side to it all. The bronchitis that my mom has also been fighting was the one that was causing this to happen; not the cancer. But even through that, she is still battling through a lot, and all I can do for her is to pray.

But after I talked to my sister and found out that my mom was stable, I got up and met everyone in the Grove to go to the game. Just to inform everyone, a tent in the grove was the best idea to do. The game was a lot of fun with everyone, even though it was 35 degrees. Brittany and I ended up gong to Ajax after the game, and then headed back over to Blake, Jordan, Alex, and Bill's house afterwards.
Even though there was this big party going on over there, I had a lot of fun just hanging out upstairs in Jordan's room with his camp friends. It was sad to say goodbye to them, but everything has to end sometimes.
Went to church Sunday and just enjoyed a day of relaxation. Overall, I had a lovely weekend with my friends. I could not ask for better friends to depend on.

**I just want everyone to pray for my mom, as she is stable but still not doing well, and also I would like for you all to pray for my friend, Catherine Cannon's mom. I recently found out that her mom is also going through some heart problems as well**


Erika Watson