how do YOU define yourself?

"Our love must not be a thing of words and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity."
(1 John 3.18)

These are two of my best friends that are
both in sororities: Brittany & Joanna

I know a lot of guys and gals went through a great tradition here at The University of Mississippi; RUSH!! As an independent (not choosing to join a sorority) one would think that I am against such "holiday", but it is exactly the opposite.  I feel like if people want to go through recruitment, they should.  I have many friends on both sides of the spectrum with being in a fraternity/sorority and also deciding not to take part.  What I am most worried about, is how incoming students into this organization will take such opportunity.
Rush, or formal recruitment as some would put it, is a great opportunity to meet new people, long lasting friends, and participate in great opportunities through the many philanthropies. But is that what most people really get out of it? I truly do not, and will never know, the answer to that question.  But what I can do, is offer a word of advice.

Crazy Independents:
Bekka, Gabrielle, Me, and Meredith

Many members, whether you are in a sorority or a fraternity, will welcome the new members as their "family" or there "brother/sister", and willing to be there for them no matter what; but can they walk the walk AND talk the talk? That is what's most frightening to me. Just think, what if God went through life granting eternal life to everyone who believed in Him or followed His footsteps, but then failed to follow through His promise; this world would be a mad house.
What I challenge sororities and fraternities to do is to walk the walk.  Truly be a brother/sister to your fellow members, be there for them when they are in need, and help them through their times of trouble. I sometimes wish I would have joined the craziness of a sorority, but I figured God has a plan for me through everything that I do.
I just now want to remind EVERYONE that you were all born original so don't be a copy, just be yourself!!

Erika Watson

There's nothing left but GRACE..

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4.32)

Because God has forgiven us, we must forgive others.

The past couple of months, I have been struggling with this a lot. It so tough to forgive those who have done wrong towards you, and in knowing that they are in the wrong, I feel like they do not deserve my forgiveness; but they truly do. They deserve our forgiveness just as much as we deserve God's forgiveness.

Ellen, Lauren, Me, and Chloe
at Camp!!

From coming home from camp and leaving the most amazing people I have ever met, to coming back to school and keeping up with my studies, I have been hit with tons of obstacles. As a senior in college, I expected the hardships of trying to find a job, juggling organizations, and worrying about how I am going to pay this and that, but I never thought these stressful events would break me down physically and emotionally.  It's so tough going through these things with my sister here, my brother there, my father and little brother somewhere else, and me all alone up here in Oxford. I sometimes feel like I have been dropped in the middle of the ocean with no life vest. As humans, we do not make that extra step to be vulnerable and ask for help, and that stands true especially with me.  I want to do everything and anything on my own to prove to others that nothing is wrong.  As I constantly do that to myself, I am slowing breaking down piece by piece.

Me and my two roommates,
Adam and Chase, at the Grove.

I now know that I need to stop, think, breathe, and ask for HELP!! It's okay to ask for help, because I know that there will be someone standing right there next to me with a helping hand.
I love that I have some amazing friends everywhere in the world, so wherever I am, I know someone will be there right next to me.
I want to take this time to say Thank You.  Thank you for being my friend, thank you for being true to me, and thank you for just being there.
Even though I have lost an amazing person in my life that will always and forever be with me in spirit, I am now content to know that I have those standing next to me through anything here on Earth.

Erika Watson

Hiding back the tears; it hurts!!

"Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it." (Ezra 10.4)

When reading this verse, it seems so easy to think that others are out there to support me and to be there for me, but living in the moment, I feel alone.  Being at camp has opened many doors to new friendships and figuring out who I am as a person, but being away from my mom still has not gotten easier.  I guess I will never truly figure out how to live without her, but maybe one day I will.
Today was my day off, and I had a lot of time to just think.  Being away from the campers and the business of camp has been good physically but not so much mentally.  I think I like being busy all the time with other things because it does not give me the opportunity to think about life at home, life without my mom, and the real world. I hate that I feel this way, but I like not having to worry about all of that stuff just for the moment.
Not one day goes by where I am not terribly missing my mom, my sister, and family, but I have to get through that to get my job here at camp done which I love tremendously.  But sometimes it gets so hard to hide back the tears from everyone.  I build it all up, and then explode by myself.  I hate for people to see me down, see me crying, and broken, because I always want to be that perfect strong person for everyone.
I appreciate everyone who has been there for me, reads my posts, and gives me inspiration each and everyday to just be myself.  I do not know what I would do without my friends and siblings.  Each day I thank God for blessing me with wonderful people who want to care for me. I wonder sometimes, 'Do I deserve this?' and 'Are they truly my friends?' but for all those who know me, it's super hard for me to trust people. So for those who I have let into my life, thank you for staying by my side and being there for me.
Life will never get easier as we get older because there will always be rough times, but the way we handle those rough times will be what defines us as human beings.  I am so blessed to be around such awesome people, and I could not imagine my life right not any other way. It may be hard, but I rather live this hard life with people that love me than to live an easy life by myself!!

-Erika Watson

The Life for ME!!

"May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, God is great!!" (Psalm 70.4)

The title of my blog, LiveLaughLove, truly goes with how I am living my life right now.  There has been so many things going on from my mom's death, to getting the position of executive director of Ole Miss Ambassadors, to just trying to live a 'normal' life, that sometimes I forget to just be myself.   I have to learn to just live life, love the people around me, and laugh at everything because it truly does make a difference.

Me, Allison, Chloe, Lauren, and Abbie
ready to go canoeing in the new lake.

Right now I am currently at camp.  I am a counselor at Camp Rim Rock, and loving the environment that I am in right now. Coming back and being with the returning counselors has been amazing, but meeting all of the new counselors has been a blast too.  I love coming here because I can just be myself no matter what anyone else thinks.  For the longest time going through high school and some through college, I had to put up a front for people to like me because I thought that is what I had to do, but at camp it is different. Camp is like a new slate for anyone; for them to be themselves.  I can show my awkward and craziness side, and for some odd reason, people still accept me for ME.  I have met some awesome people so far, and I have only been here for 5 days.  Even though we have been doing a lot of work around camp and helping camp get ready for sessions, I have been having a blast just being here and away from home for a while.  Its a time think about life, to open my mind, and to truly understand who i am.
No matter what happens in life, I can say that I lived life out to the fullest, loved those that are close to me and that I just met, and laughed at everything and myself on the journey.
God has blessed me with such an awesome instrument to spread his word, my word, and wonders that he can do. Him blessing me with the gift of camp and lovely friends has been more than i deserve. I love all of you who have read and kept up with my blog, and I will try to continue with it through the summer!!

-Erika Watson

Relay For Life: Hope, Faith, and Courage..

"Hope is not a dream, but a way of making dreams become reality."

Family Is What Matters MOST!!
My grandmother, aunt, and mom

This past friday, March 25, I attended Relay for Life at Ole Miss.  I was so graciously asked to tell my story of my mom fighting cancer along with Margaret Ann Morgan who also lost her mom just a few months earlier.  Saying yes was not an easy thing to do, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  Getting in front of people and telling them my personal life of my mom, how she passed, and how I am coping with her gone, was definitely not a walk in the park; I would say it had to be one of the toughest things I have ever done.  But with the support from my family, friends, and my Ole Miss family I did it.  I told the trials and tribulations that face me and my family during my mom's battle with cancer, and how it was the hardest thing to say goodbye to my mom, my best friend. At times I felt alone up on stage with everyone watching me, but I knew my mom was standing right next to me.
It was so awesome to see the support of everyone that night.  I truly could not have done it with out them.  Of course there were times where I was crying and just wanted to run off stage in tears, but I knew that my story had to be told in order to help others out there.
In the end, I know that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan out there for all of us.  That plan might not be to all of our expectations, but its something that we hall have to have hope and faith in.  God's works are amazing, and we should never take Him for granted!!

This song is one of my mom's favorite songs.. It's not who you knew, it's not what you did, it's how you lived!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7HFk6flUOQ

Why?

Have you ever asked yourself the question.. WHY? Lately I have been thinking about my place here on this earth, and why I am here. Since my mom passed, there has been so much thrown at me that I haven't been necessarily catching. On the outside, I try to be the best that I can be and try to make it look like I have my life in order, but I don't.. It seemed to work when my mom was alive, because whenever there was a problem, I would just call her and she had the answer; who do I call on now? Life has been tough, with my faith, friends, and family.
In my heart, I know that God is always there whenever I need him, in the good and the bad, but lately I feel alone. It gets harder each and every day to put on a smile and a montage that everything is okay. People say that you can't carry the weight all on your own, but it's hard these days to find those who can help. Especially with me, I am not one to ask for help or to accept it because I feel like a bother to others. No matter how many times people tell me I'm not, I will never be fully convinced.
Mom leaving this Earth has to be the biggest struggle of my life. They say it gets easier as time goes by, but I want to know who 'they' are, because for me, it gets harder as the days go by. Her not being here to reassure me that everything is going to be okay, has been the toughest thing for me. That has to be where the questioning of all the 'whys' in my life come from.
These are the reasons why I want to travel, get out, and make something of my life. I want to do something that will help others, and to reassure them that everything is going to be okay, even if it's not for me. I want to go teach in low poverty ares, third world countries, and travel the world in hopes to do something new and different with my life. I feel like staying here reminds me of the bad, what use to be and never will. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends here, but I feel like there is something more out there for me.
For now, I am here, in Oxford studying Elementary Education. I have God, the love of my friends and family, and the faith that I can get through anything. As long I keep reminding myself of these three things, I can get through anything.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4.13)

Erika Watson

my mom is my Guardian Angel..

"God saw you were getting tired and it was not meant to be, so He put his arms around you and whispered, 'come to me'. With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you pass away, although we loved you dearly we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating hard, working hands at rest, God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best."

I know I have not been on in awhile, but there has been a lot going on. Many of you know, but my mom passed away December 5, 2010, from cancer. She put up such a great battle, and she won in my eyes. No matter what anyone says, I know that my mom is with me at all times, looking down, and guiding me through this tough journey we call life. There is no doubt that I am going to miss her TONS, but i have to keep on going through life because i know that is how she would want it to be. She has always taught me to live life the fullest, and to not take things for granted. I believe that my mom came up with the saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" and it is totally true. We should all not worry about the little problems in life, because in the end its not about who you knew, and its not what you did, its how you lived!!
Through everything that was happening with my mom, I went to Europe to travel. At first I did not want to go because my mom was the one who paid for my flights and in a way, I felt selfish for going. But then i realized, she would want me to go and have an awesome time; she was with me the whole time from england, to scotland, and then to ireland.
On my journey I visited my camp friends that I met in WV at Camp Rim Rock, and I  also met a lot of new people. The Americans that flew over with me were Rust, Kitty, and Backof. We met up and stayed with out friends Jess, Lydz, and Paulla.  The whole adventure was so much fun and I am actually thinking about studying abroad in the fall.
While I was over seas, we went to London and visited all the landmarks there like Big Ben, London Eye, and Buckingham Palace. Then we went to Scotland and visited Edinburgh. And from there we went back to the Bristol area and flew over to Ireland where we stayed in Dublin. Everything was so so beautiful and i can not wait to go back!
Through the past couple of weeks i have learned to live my life out to the fullest and to be who i want to be. I always worried about what others thought of me, and that i should live my life based on other people, but thats not how God would want me to live and thats not how I wanted to live. I had to break out of my shell, do my own thing, and pray that I still had friends in the end.. haha!! but really, being me has just made me a better person all around.
I do hope that this blog has been helpful for those who worry about the little stuff instead of living for the big stuff (aka God). The life lived on this Earth, is what prepares us for the life in heaven.

REST IN PEACE mom!! Rennee Watson - December 5, 2010

Erika Watson