Why are we waiting for Tomorrow?

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118.24)

Day in and day out we think about what we are going to be doing tomorrow, the next day, in a month, or next year, and not even focussing on the moment of today. I know my last post was about cherishing those around you, but how are we suppose to do that if we are all so focused about the future instead of the present?

My beautiful mother!!

I know a lot of you know that I lost my mom a year ago to cancer. The anniversary of her passing was actually Monday, and believe it was not the best of days. I kept thinking about how life would be if she was still here, and if there was anything at all that could have changed  her from leaving this Earth so soon. But then I realized, God has a plan for everything and everyone. "Something good must end, for something better to begin." I constantly think about the "what ifs" and what is going to happen next, instead of just living in the present. There is so much going on around me that I need to be thankful for right now, instead of focussing all of my attention on what is going to happen.
Like I said before, God has a plan for all of us. I know I don't always see it that way because I constantly stress about the future and what is going to happen to me, that sometimes I just need to stop and hand it over to God. That doesn't mean that we should stop trying all together and let Christ do it on his own, no. It means that we need to break those barriers of self sufficiency, and ask God for the help that he can give.
I know it's hard, because I struggle with it everyday, but we are put on this Earth to enjoy the greatness of "now" and "today"; not to stress out about what tomorrow has in store.
I want you to listen to this song and truly ask yourself, why am I waiting for tomorrow?

rest in peace mommy..

Erika Watson

Just thought this would BRIGHTEN up your day!!

I truly love this song!!

Stop, Think, and be Thankful

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" (Psalm 107.1)

In this fast paced world that we live in today, our lives are always "go, go, go" without even thinking exactly what we are doing.  How many times today did you stop and just think about the tress around you, the people walking by you, and the creator that made this all happen? NONE. Same for me too, until I went to adoration tonight at my church.  Adoration is a time of worship, where the Catholic Church c an come together as one.  While sitting in church, surrounded by all of 5 people there, I began to notice the pleasure of sitting in silence.  It allowed me to stay still for once, and just think. After I was done praying and meditating for awhile, I decided to just look around the church and began to notice the lights of the cars from outside flashing in and out of the stained glass windows that surrounded the church.  I then noticed, that is what my life is comprised of; me constantly moving. I am so glad that I have a place where I can just sit down, think, and be thankful for what God has provided me with, while the outside world is still running as it normally would be.

Megan Upchurch and I.. What
would I do without you?

Also, something that got me thinking about this topic, was a conversation I was having with my friend Megan Upchurch just a while before I went to adoration. We were talking about how other schools ran, and if we did decide to go to the other schools instead of Ole Miss. I jokingly told her, "Your life would not be the same with out me!!" As self centered that may have sounded, it truly wouldn't be. Megan, and many others that I have met here at my time at Ole Miss, have changed and shaped my life for the better. Who knows what I would be doing right now if I did not come here. Those are just the little things to be thankful for.
Everyday we go through life busy as a bee, not knowing who just passed on the road or the lives we changed by smiling, but sometimes we just need to stop, think, and be thankful. Those wonderful moments are the moments that shape you into the being that you are. We can not forget about the little things in our lives such as our precious friends, and we must always keep the big picture in mind such as wonderful God.
As some of you know, I have been sick the past couple of days (or semester if you want to add all the mishaps that have happened to me), but I can not let me get me down.  I still wake up everyday thanking God for giving me everything that I have because I know others have it worse than me. We take so many things for granted each and everyday, that we do not think about how others live who do not have the privileges that we have. We should all be thankful for what we have, because someone somewhere else is striving to be in our footsteps.

Walk with Integrity

"Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and i walk continually in your truth" (Psalm 26.2-3)

For the past couple of months, I have been on what some people would call a "Jesus high".  This being that through everything I do, even if it was just walking to my car, I try to live by the way of Christ.  I never know who is watching me or that one person I could affect in the process of doing these simple tasks, so I try to do everything through Christ. With this being said, it is not as easy as it sounds.  This means forgiving those who have hurt me, even though I do not believe they need to be forgiven, or by simply sharing a smile to those who pass by.
I am not perfect by any means, and I believe that one should never strive towards being perfect, but I do believe that the best thing to do is to stand up and believe in your personal beliefs and morals. As some of my close friends know, I have been having trouble with this. It is easy to go around saying that "I believe in the Father Almighty", but as anyone knows, it is harder to walk the walk than to talk the talk.  I struggle with this every day from being a certain kind of role model for this organization, or saying the right things to impress this group of people, when in fact, all I need to do is to be the tool that God set out for me to be, MYSELF!! Trying to please others in their needs and identities will only lead me further and further away from the morals and beliefs that I have set up for myself.

I don't know what I would do
without these two girls in my life.
Thanks for being amazing
Gabrielle and Meredith!!

The truth of the matter is that this is a common struggle for most college student and young adults as we live our daily lives. The main advice that I can give out to anyone, is to ask yourself "If God were to be standing right next to me, how would I act." Most people do not realize that Christ is with you 24/7 never leaving your side, yet we do crazy and sinful things everyday.
I am not one to condemn anyone for their actions, but I am one to encourage the simple tasks of following the path of Christ.  Be a shining light in a dark tunnel, be the person that takes the road less traveled, or simply smile at the next person you see.
I want to share this inspirational passage that I sent out earlier this week to a couple of my friends:
"Walk in Integrity: The word integrity comes from the root word integer meaning wholeness. A person walks with integrity when their words, actions, and behaviors are consistent with their morals and principles.  As you aim for the skies, allow God to develop in you a character of honesty.  It is possible for you to deceive the world because no man can see your heart, but you can never deceive your God. If God were to say something about you, could he claim that you had integrity? Your life must be reflection of your relationship with Christ from the inside out. Let the words you say and the deed you do reflect the person you are in Christ."
No other words could explain this better.

Also, I would love for all of you to pray for the 3 guys who passed away this morning in a car accident and for their families.  These young men were students at The University of Mississippi and members of the KA fraternity.

Erika Watson

how do YOU define yourself?

"Our love must not be a thing of words and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity."
(1 John 3.18)

These are two of my best friends that are
both in sororities: Brittany & Joanna

I know a lot of guys and gals went through a great tradition here at The University of Mississippi; RUSH!! As an independent (not choosing to join a sorority) one would think that I am against such "holiday", but it is exactly the opposite.  I feel like if people want to go through recruitment, they should.  I have many friends on both sides of the spectrum with being in a fraternity/sorority and also deciding not to take part.  What I am most worried about, is how incoming students into this organization will take such opportunity.
Rush, or formal recruitment as some would put it, is a great opportunity to meet new people, long lasting friends, and participate in great opportunities through the many philanthropies. But is that what most people really get out of it? I truly do not, and will never know, the answer to that question.  But what I can do, is offer a word of advice.

Crazy Independents:
Bekka, Gabrielle, Me, and Meredith

Many members, whether you are in a sorority or a fraternity, will welcome the new members as their "family" or there "brother/sister", and willing to be there for them no matter what; but can they walk the walk AND talk the talk? That is what's most frightening to me. Just think, what if God went through life granting eternal life to everyone who believed in Him or followed His footsteps, but then failed to follow through His promise; this world would be a mad house.
What I challenge sororities and fraternities to do is to walk the walk.  Truly be a brother/sister to your fellow members, be there for them when they are in need, and help them through their times of trouble. I sometimes wish I would have joined the craziness of a sorority, but I figured God has a plan for me through everything that I do.
I just now want to remind EVERYONE that you were all born original so don't be a copy, just be yourself!!

Erika Watson

There's nothing left but GRACE..

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4.32)

Because God has forgiven us, we must forgive others.

The past couple of months, I have been struggling with this a lot. It so tough to forgive those who have done wrong towards you, and in knowing that they are in the wrong, I feel like they do not deserve my forgiveness; but they truly do. They deserve our forgiveness just as much as we deserve God's forgiveness.

Ellen, Lauren, Me, and Chloe
at Camp!!

From coming home from camp and leaving the most amazing people I have ever met, to coming back to school and keeping up with my studies, I have been hit with tons of obstacles. As a senior in college, I expected the hardships of trying to find a job, juggling organizations, and worrying about how I am going to pay this and that, but I never thought these stressful events would break me down physically and emotionally.  It's so tough going through these things with my sister here, my brother there, my father and little brother somewhere else, and me all alone up here in Oxford. I sometimes feel like I have been dropped in the middle of the ocean with no life vest. As humans, we do not make that extra step to be vulnerable and ask for help, and that stands true especially with me.  I want to do everything and anything on my own to prove to others that nothing is wrong.  As I constantly do that to myself, I am slowing breaking down piece by piece.

Me and my two roommates,
Adam and Chase, at the Grove.

I now know that I need to stop, think, breathe, and ask for HELP!! It's okay to ask for help, because I know that there will be someone standing right there next to me with a helping hand.
I love that I have some amazing friends everywhere in the world, so wherever I am, I know someone will be there right next to me.
I want to take this time to say Thank You.  Thank you for being my friend, thank you for being true to me, and thank you for just being there.
Even though I have lost an amazing person in my life that will always and forever be with me in spirit, I am now content to know that I have those standing next to me through anything here on Earth.

Erika Watson

Hiding back the tears; it hurts!!

"Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it." (Ezra 10.4)

When reading this verse, it seems so easy to think that others are out there to support me and to be there for me, but living in the moment, I feel alone.  Being at camp has opened many doors to new friendships and figuring out who I am as a person, but being away from my mom still has not gotten easier.  I guess I will never truly figure out how to live without her, but maybe one day I will.
Today was my day off, and I had a lot of time to just think.  Being away from the campers and the business of camp has been good physically but not so much mentally.  I think I like being busy all the time with other things because it does not give me the opportunity to think about life at home, life without my mom, and the real world. I hate that I feel this way, but I like not having to worry about all of that stuff just for the moment.
Not one day goes by where I am not terribly missing my mom, my sister, and family, but I have to get through that to get my job here at camp done which I love tremendously.  But sometimes it gets so hard to hide back the tears from everyone.  I build it all up, and then explode by myself.  I hate for people to see me down, see me crying, and broken, because I always want to be that perfect strong person for everyone.
I appreciate everyone who has been there for me, reads my posts, and gives me inspiration each and everyday to just be myself.  I do not know what I would do without my friends and siblings.  Each day I thank God for blessing me with wonderful people who want to care for me. I wonder sometimes, 'Do I deserve this?' and 'Are they truly my friends?' but for all those who know me, it's super hard for me to trust people. So for those who I have let into my life, thank you for staying by my side and being there for me.
Life will never get easier as we get older because there will always be rough times, but the way we handle those rough times will be what defines us as human beings.  I am so blessed to be around such awesome people, and I could not imagine my life right not any other way. It may be hard, but I rather live this hard life with people that love me than to live an easy life by myself!!

-Erika Watson

The Life for ME!!

"May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, God is great!!" (Psalm 70.4)

The title of my blog, LiveLaughLove, truly goes with how I am living my life right now.  There has been so many things going on from my mom's death, to getting the position of executive director of Ole Miss Ambassadors, to just trying to live a 'normal' life, that sometimes I forget to just be myself.   I have to learn to just live life, love the people around me, and laugh at everything because it truly does make a difference.

Me, Allison, Chloe, Lauren, and Abbie
ready to go canoeing in the new lake.

Right now I am currently at camp.  I am a counselor at Camp Rim Rock, and loving the environment that I am in right now. Coming back and being with the returning counselors has been amazing, but meeting all of the new counselors has been a blast too.  I love coming here because I can just be myself no matter what anyone else thinks.  For the longest time going through high school and some through college, I had to put up a front for people to like me because I thought that is what I had to do, but at camp it is different. Camp is like a new slate for anyone; for them to be themselves.  I can show my awkward and craziness side, and for some odd reason, people still accept me for ME.  I have met some awesome people so far, and I have only been here for 5 days.  Even though we have been doing a lot of work around camp and helping camp get ready for sessions, I have been having a blast just being here and away from home for a while.  Its a time think about life, to open my mind, and to truly understand who i am.
No matter what happens in life, I can say that I lived life out to the fullest, loved those that are close to me and that I just met, and laughed at everything and myself on the journey.
God has blessed me with such an awesome instrument to spread his word, my word, and wonders that he can do. Him blessing me with the gift of camp and lovely friends has been more than i deserve. I love all of you who have read and kept up with my blog, and I will try to continue with it through the summer!!

-Erika Watson

Relay For Life: Hope, Faith, and Courage..

"Hope is not a dream, but a way of making dreams become reality."

Family Is What Matters MOST!!
My grandmother, aunt, and mom

This past friday, March 25, I attended Relay for Life at Ole Miss.  I was so graciously asked to tell my story of my mom fighting cancer along with Margaret Ann Morgan who also lost her mom just a few months earlier.  Saying yes was not an easy thing to do, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  Getting in front of people and telling them my personal life of my mom, how she passed, and how I am coping with her gone, was definitely not a walk in the park; I would say it had to be one of the toughest things I have ever done.  But with the support from my family, friends, and my Ole Miss family I did it.  I told the trials and tribulations that face me and my family during my mom's battle with cancer, and how it was the hardest thing to say goodbye to my mom, my best friend. At times I felt alone up on stage with everyone watching me, but I knew my mom was standing right next to me.
It was so awesome to see the support of everyone that night.  I truly could not have done it with out them.  Of course there were times where I was crying and just wanted to run off stage in tears, but I knew that my story had to be told in order to help others out there.
In the end, I know that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan out there for all of us.  That plan might not be to all of our expectations, but its something that we hall have to have hope and faith in.  God's works are amazing, and we should never take Him for granted!!

This song is one of my mom's favorite songs.. It's not who you knew, it's not what you did, it's how you lived!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7HFk6flUOQ

Why?

Have you ever asked yourself the question.. WHY? Lately I have been thinking about my place here on this earth, and why I am here. Since my mom passed, there has been so much thrown at me that I haven't been necessarily catching. On the outside, I try to be the best that I can be and try to make it look like I have my life in order, but I don't.. It seemed to work when my mom was alive, because whenever there was a problem, I would just call her and she had the answer; who do I call on now? Life has been tough, with my faith, friends, and family.
In my heart, I know that God is always there whenever I need him, in the good and the bad, but lately I feel alone. It gets harder each and every day to put on a smile and a montage that everything is okay. People say that you can't carry the weight all on your own, but it's hard these days to find those who can help. Especially with me, I am not one to ask for help or to accept it because I feel like a bother to others. No matter how many times people tell me I'm not, I will never be fully convinced.
Mom leaving this Earth has to be the biggest struggle of my life. They say it gets easier as time goes by, but I want to know who 'they' are, because for me, it gets harder as the days go by. Her not being here to reassure me that everything is going to be okay, has been the toughest thing for me. That has to be where the questioning of all the 'whys' in my life come from.
These are the reasons why I want to travel, get out, and make something of my life. I want to do something that will help others, and to reassure them that everything is going to be okay, even if it's not for me. I want to go teach in low poverty ares, third world countries, and travel the world in hopes to do something new and different with my life. I feel like staying here reminds me of the bad, what use to be and never will. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends here, but I feel like there is something more out there for me.
For now, I am here, in Oxford studying Elementary Education. I have God, the love of my friends and family, and the faith that I can get through anything. As long I keep reminding myself of these three things, I can get through anything.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4.13)

Erika Watson

my mom is my Guardian Angel..

"God saw you were getting tired and it was not meant to be, so He put his arms around you and whispered, 'come to me'. With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you pass away, although we loved you dearly we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating hard, working hands at rest, God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best."

I know I have not been on in awhile, but there has been a lot going on. Many of you know, but my mom passed away December 5, 2010, from cancer. She put up such a great battle, and she won in my eyes. No matter what anyone says, I know that my mom is with me at all times, looking down, and guiding me through this tough journey we call life. There is no doubt that I am going to miss her TONS, but i have to keep on going through life because i know that is how she would want it to be. She has always taught me to live life the fullest, and to not take things for granted. I believe that my mom came up with the saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" and it is totally true. We should all not worry about the little problems in life, because in the end its not about who you knew, and its not what you did, its how you lived!!
Through everything that was happening with my mom, I went to Europe to travel. At first I did not want to go because my mom was the one who paid for my flights and in a way, I felt selfish for going. But then i realized, she would want me to go and have an awesome time; she was with me the whole time from england, to scotland, and then to ireland.
On my journey I visited my camp friends that I met in WV at Camp Rim Rock, and I  also met a lot of new people. The Americans that flew over with me were Rust, Kitty, and Backof. We met up and stayed with out friends Jess, Lydz, and Paulla.  The whole adventure was so much fun and I am actually thinking about studying abroad in the fall.
While I was over seas, we went to London and visited all the landmarks there like Big Ben, London Eye, and Buckingham Palace. Then we went to Scotland and visited Edinburgh. And from there we went back to the Bristol area and flew over to Ireland where we stayed in Dublin. Everything was so so beautiful and i can not wait to go back!
Through the past couple of weeks i have learned to live my life out to the fullest and to be who i want to be. I always worried about what others thought of me, and that i should live my life based on other people, but thats not how God would want me to live and thats not how I wanted to live. I had to break out of my shell, do my own thing, and pray that I still had friends in the end.. haha!! but really, being me has just made me a better person all around.
I do hope that this blog has been helpful for those who worry about the little stuff instead of living for the big stuff (aka God). The life lived on this Earth, is what prepares us for the life in heaven.

REST IN PEACE mom!! Rennee Watson - December 5, 2010

Erika Watson