"Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it." (Ezra 10.4)
When reading this verse, it seems so easy to think that others are out there to support me and to be there for me, but living in the moment, I feel alone. Being at camp has opened many doors to new friendships and figuring out who I am as a person, but being away from my mom still has not gotten easier. I guess I will never truly figure out how to live without her, but maybe one day I will.
Today was my day off, and I had a lot of time to just think. Being away from the campers and the business of camp has been good physically but not so much mentally. I think I like being busy all the time with other things because it does not give me the opportunity to think about life at home, life without my mom, and the real world. I hate that I feel this way, but I like not having to worry about all of that stuff just for the moment.
Not one day goes by where I am not terribly missing my mom, my sister, and family, but I have to get through that to get my job here at camp done which I love tremendously. But sometimes it gets so hard to hide back the tears from everyone. I build it all up, and then explode by myself. I hate for people to see me down, see me crying, and broken, because I always want to be that perfect strong person for everyone.
I appreciate everyone who has been there for me, reads my posts, and gives me inspiration each and everyday to just be myself. I do not know what I would do without my friends and siblings. Each day I thank God for blessing me with wonderful people who want to care for me. I wonder sometimes, 'Do I deserve this?' and 'Are they truly my friends?' but for all those who know me, it's super hard for me to trust people. So for those who I have let into my life, thank you for staying by my side and being there for me.
Life will never get easier as we get older because there will always be rough times, but the way we handle those rough times will be what defines us as human beings. I am so blessed to be around such awesome people, and I could not imagine my life right not any other way. It may be hard, but I rather live this hard life with people that love me than to live an easy life by myself!!
-Erika Watson
2.6.11
The Life for ME!!
"May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, God is great!!" (Psalm 70.4)
The title of my blog, LiveLaughLove, truly goes with how I am living my life right now. There has been so many things going on from my mom's death, to getting the position of executive director of Ole Miss Ambassadors, to just trying to live a 'normal' life, that sometimes I forget to just be myself. I have to learn to just live life, love the people around me, and laugh at everything because it truly does make a difference.
Right now I am currently at camp. I am a counselor at Camp Rim Rock, and loving the environment that I am in right now. Coming back and being with the returning counselors has been amazing, but meeting all of the new counselors has been a blast too. I love coming here because I can just be myself no matter what anyone else thinks. For the longest time going through high school and some through college, I had to put up a front for people to like me because I thought that is what I had to do, but at camp it is different. Camp is like a new slate for anyone; for them to be themselves. I can show my awkward and craziness side, and for some odd reason, people still accept me for ME. I have met some awesome people so far, and I have only been here for 5 days. Even though we have been doing a lot of work around camp and helping camp get ready for sessions, I have been having a blast just being here and away from home for a while. Its a time think about life, to open my mind, and to truly understand who i am.
No matter what happens in life, I can say that I lived life out to the fullest, loved those that are close to me and that I just met, and laughed at everything and myself on the journey.
God has blessed me with such an awesome instrument to spread his word, my word, and wonders that he can do. Him blessing me with the gift of camp and lovely friends has been more than i deserve. I love all of you who have read and kept up with my blog, and I will try to continue with it through the summer!!
-Erika Watson
The title of my blog, LiveLaughLove, truly goes with how I am living my life right now. There has been so many things going on from my mom's death, to getting the position of executive director of Ole Miss Ambassadors, to just trying to live a 'normal' life, that sometimes I forget to just be myself. I have to learn to just live life, love the people around me, and laugh at everything because it truly does make a difference.
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| Me, Allison, Chloe, Lauren, and Abbie ready to go canoeing in the new lake. |
No matter what happens in life, I can say that I lived life out to the fullest, loved those that are close to me and that I just met, and laughed at everything and myself on the journey.
God has blessed me with such an awesome instrument to spread his word, my word, and wonders that he can do. Him blessing me with the gift of camp and lovely friends has been more than i deserve. I love all of you who have read and kept up with my blog, and I will try to continue with it through the summer!!
-Erika Watson
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